Delays and friends in need

I have gone and done it again.  I fall into this mental trap where I don't feel like I have anything insightful or profound to say so I simply don't post anything for a long time.  I have actually worked on three different posts since my last installment, but they are very long and will take some time.  Every time I get like this I have to remind myself that if I am leaving the content of this site up to what comes from me, then I am in BIG trouble. Eventually, like now, I finally get it through my head (again) that if this site is going to have appeal to anyone, except maybe me, what I post on here will have to come from the Holy Spirit.  Only words inspired by the Holy Spirit will make the kind of difference in people's lives I want to make.  So, here goes . . .

I got a email type message (don't know exactly what to call them) on Facebook from a law school friend of mine about some trouble in his life.  This friend has a history of drugs and gambling.  In law school he would often times call to "borrow" money to pay off a bookie.  Every time, true to his word, he would pay me right back within a very short time.  He seemed to be a fairly good gambler, but gambling is one of those things that tends to catch up to you no matter how well you do it.  Anyway, I get a message over the weekend saying he is stranded in Texas, estranged from his family, without a car and without money. 

I must really be growing as a Catholic because I was able to stop my initial reaction before it came all the way out.  My initial reaction a few years back would have been something very un-Catholic. But after giving some thought and reflection to this, I realized that it was OK to wonder what role his two bad habits played in his condition without being judgmental towards him.  After all, he has a law degree and even if he hasn't passed the bar having a doctoral degree opens lots of doors.  Last night I prayed over what I can do to help.  I realized that I could send a small amount of money, but that really isn't going to help his situation.  At the same time, I have family that could use what little money I could afford to send almost as much as this friend.

So now I am looking for ways to help him.  I feel horrible that I cannot do more, but I have to find whatever I can to help him.  I am hoping to find a way to help him with his long term issues, because I am powerless to help him with his immediate problems.  If you know of help in the Houston area please let me know so I can pass it along to him.  If you have any ideas of any kind please feel free to share.

Mr. Snuffleupagus and God

I am supposed to be getting ready for a 1/2 day hearing tomorrow, but am instead reading links I got from twitter posts over the last two days.  I was reading an article titled The Moral Dilemma of Agnosticism and was struck not only by the article and how it relates to my self-described agnostic wife, but by a comment to this article by someone going by the initials "smh" (posted on July 31, 2010 at 7:26 PM).  "smh" said:

I think that, while thoughtful agnostics hold their position in good faith (pun intended), the key weakness in their argument is the mistaken conflation of two different senses of "know" -- the factual and the personal. They are hardly entirely to blame for that, as far too many Christian apologetics make the same mistake, and treat God as an abstract logical point to be proved, or an empirical datum to be verified by observation and experimentation, rather than a person who encounters and is encountered.

This got me thinking about how agnostics in general, and my wife in particular, really see God as Mr. Snuffleupagus from Sesame Street.  As a kid¹, Mr. Snuffleupagus was a character on Sesame Street that Big Bird saw and no one else ever did.²  While I guess you can say I am fairly intelligent, I certainly am not on the level of deep thinkers as "smh" and the writer of the article.  However, I am constantly debating, for a lack of a better word, my wife about proof of the exisentence of God.  As with any good agnostic, she claims to want "proof" of the existence of God before she says she can believe.  Of course, much to my dismay, no matter what I try, I cannot "prove" God's existence in a physical sense.

In my discussions with my wife I have hit on the same concept as this article and "smh."  I ask her how she can believe that the Civil War happened because she can no more prove that it happened than I can prove God exists.  I can show you artifacts and writings of people who were around in the time of Jesus and His teachings, but I cannot make Jesus appear to her face.  In the same way she can only see artifacts and writings from the Civil War era, but cannot experience a battle for herself.  I have also tried to relate her lack of belief in other ways.  For instance, she hasn't the slightest clue as to how to make electricity or how it works (nor do I for that matter), yet she "believes" that every time she flips a light switch the light will turn on.

Those are my simpleton attempts at relaying, "the mistaken conflation of two different senses of "know" -- the factual and the personal."³  I will never be able to factually prove God exists, even to myself.  I can only know He exists because I have a personal relationship with Him.  It is through this personal relationship that I know He exists.  Oddly, my wife and I met on the internet and there was a period of time where she didn't know that I existed, at least with regard to what my physical characteristics were.  Yet she believed, I guess, what I told her and the images I sent her of me. 

Back to Mr. Snuffleupagus.  Only Big Bird "believed" he existed because only Big Bird had a personal relationship with him (her/it?).  The other residents of Sesame Street didn't have this relationship with Mr. Snuffleupagus and therefore didn't believe he (she/it?) existed.  It wasn't until Mr. Snuffleupagus appeared to other residents that they finally realized that Big Bird wasn't crazy this whole time. 

Too bad Big Bird didn't have the Communion of Saints and the Holy Spirit to aid him (her/it?) in convincing everyone of Mr. Sunffleupagus' existence.  I will simply have to pray that the Saints and Holy Spirit will guide me in my attempts to reach my wife and that God will open her heart to Him.  May God bless you in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

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¹I remember listening to the Catholics Next Door a while back and they were talking about re-runs of Sesame Street from the 70's being put out on DVD.  "Sesame Street: Old School" DVD's have a disclaimer that says "Welcome to 'Sesame Street Nostalgia.' I am Bob, your host, and I want you to know that these early 'Sesame Street' episodes are intended for grown-ups and may not meet the needs of today's pre-school child."

²I wonder if that fact in and of itself was intended as a comment on religion by the creators of Sesame Street??
³I am truly in awe of people who can think at such a high level to be able to say things like that.