It was one year ago today that my best friend's life came crashing down around him. His drinking had lead an incident at his home where the police have been involved and he is now losing his home, his marriage and every material thing he once worked so hard to gain.
In this year he has had some extreme lows. He has had days that I wasn't sure he had the will to live. There were moments he o wanted to take the easy path and take a drink and light up a cig. Through his own determination and mostly through God's grace he has been one year without a drink and without alcohol.
I cannot put into words the awe I feel when I think about his journey. While I in no way envy the dark days he has experienced over the last year, I do look at the peace he now enjoys and want to have that in my life. I know his prayer life is also something that I could emulate.
The thing I see in him now that I most want to emulate is his total surrender to God's will in his life. I know in my life I sometimes like to think that I have done that, but when I am honest with myself I know that is only a delusion. I do fervently desire God's will in my life, but at the same time have a death grip on things trying to control them that I am finding harder and harder to release.
I know I need God, I am scared by how much.