How many times have I started a blog post only to stop without posting it for one reason or another? (19 to be exact, but who's counting?) There are as many different reasons for the failure to follow through to completion as there are incomplete posts (again, 19). I think mostly they can be categorized as not being of a level I think they should be. That, as with everything in my life, my undiagnosed adult ADD also makes it hard to sit and concentrate long enough to write what I think is long enough, well written enough or sufficiently in-depth enough. This means that rather than setting aside my pride and seeking the Holy Spirit's guidance, I take the route that I know is a route of failure and rely on myself.
In the last few months my life in faith has grown in ways that a year ago I couldn't imagine. I am fasting one-to-two times per week, praying daily, reading the bible often, not over sleeping for mass and overcoming many of my more frequent and severe sins. I learn more and more about my religion each and every day and my faith every day.
If there is anyone who reads this, please keep me in your prayers. I hope to increase my posting on this blog and hope the Holy Spirit will work through me to make it something worth reading.
"If you want to be happy, really really happy, use your talents to serve others." - Eduardo Verastegui
The ramblings of a man who fell away from the practice of his Catholic faith, only to return upon the realization that he could no longer call himself Catholic without being fully in union with the Magisterium of the Catholic Chirch. This is about growing up Catholic and growing as a Catholic.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Saturday, April 2, 2011
John 6
Growing up I remember "the bread of life discourse" being read at Mass and not thinking much about it. Even as a young adult I never really understood the significance of this passage. Then, when I came back to the Church a few years ago I heard it again, I heard it again for the first time. All my questions about why believe in the doctrines and teachings of the Catholic Church were answered. It was as if a window was opened and a fresh breeze blew in, taking away the stench of my doubt and replacing it with the the sweet smell of Christ's Church.
Prior to this revelation (of sorts) I felt that the one Bible passage most challenging to Protestantism and most supportive of the Catholic Church was Matthew 16. But, after reading Upon This Rock by Steve Ray, I think they have something of an argument. That is not to say that I believe any less firmly that Peter was the first Pope and that the Catholic Church is Christ's Church. Rather, I can see how someone can twist the English translation of that passage to fit their Protestant beliefs. I don't understand how that's possible with John 6.
My sister is about to finish her first year of seminary in Boston. The seminary she is attending is Episcopal Divinity School in Cambridge, MA. The question I most want to ask her is how she is taught to interpret John 6. How does a school designed and charged with teaching Protestant ministers teach this chapter of John's Gospel. I haven't gotten that opportunity yet, but I will be fascinated with whatever she says.
There is no Biblical passage that more fully undermines Protestant beliefs than John 6. The verses I focus on to make this statement are John 6:52-55. In John 6:50-51 Jesus requires anyone who wants eternal life with him to eat his flesh and drink his blood. Had John stopped there and skipped on to what is now verse 60, there would still be some wiggle room, like with Matthew 16. However, John goes on to recount that there were those following Jesus who were, lets just say, shocked by Jesus' statements. They questioned how Jesus could give his flesh to eat. (6:52). Jesus responds by saying whoever does not eat his flesh and drink his blood will have no life within them. (6:54). In other words, Jesus responds to those who ask, "do you really mean actually eating your flesh," with "yes, I really mean actually eating my flesh."
Despite this passage, Protestants do not believe in transubstantiation. In other words, Protestants do not believe that they really have to eat His flesh. Now, I am have not studied what the different Protestant doctrines are regarding the last supper (there are over 33,000 of them after all), but I assume that they believe that the twelve Apostles actually partook of the actual body and blood of Jesus. Which only means they believe that when Jesus said "do this in remembrance of me" (Luke 22) he was really saying, "do something symbolic of this in remembrance of me."
Yes, even if those masters of literal Biblical interpretation wanted to believe that Jesus was mincing his words in the hours before his death, John 6 corrects their error unequivocally. After Jesus demands that they eat his flesh and drink his blood to gain eternal life, His followers, as us humans are prone to do, sought wiggle room in His demand. But, Jesus responded by walling off any room for wiggling. Jesus' response directly refutes any question about whether or not symbolism has a place at the communion alter.
Just as important, in John 6 Jesus gives us a glimpse into how hard it will be to follow Him. Each of us struggle to live our lives fully in Christ. When we face a decision and question what God would have us do, we often search to find that wiggle room, that justification for taking the easy route. At those times we should all remember those early disciples and ask am I going to follow those that walked away from Jesus (John 6:66) or am I going to be like Peter who asked, "to whom shall we go"?
Prior to this revelation (of sorts) I felt that the one Bible passage most challenging to Protestantism and most supportive of the Catholic Church was Matthew 16. But, after reading Upon This Rock by Steve Ray, I think they have something of an argument. That is not to say that I believe any less firmly that Peter was the first Pope and that the Catholic Church is Christ's Church. Rather, I can see how someone can twist the English translation of that passage to fit their Protestant beliefs. I don't understand how that's possible with John 6.
My sister is about to finish her first year of seminary in Boston. The seminary she is attending is Episcopal Divinity School in Cambridge, MA. The question I most want to ask her is how she is taught to interpret John 6. How does a school designed and charged with teaching Protestant ministers teach this chapter of John's Gospel. I haven't gotten that opportunity yet, but I will be fascinated with whatever she says.
There is no Biblical passage that more fully undermines Protestant beliefs than John 6. The verses I focus on to make this statement are John 6:52-55. In John 6:50-51 Jesus requires anyone who wants eternal life with him to eat his flesh and drink his blood. Had John stopped there and skipped on to what is now verse 60, there would still be some wiggle room, like with Matthew 16. However, John goes on to recount that there were those following Jesus who were, lets just say, shocked by Jesus' statements. They questioned how Jesus could give his flesh to eat. (6:52). Jesus responds by saying whoever does not eat his flesh and drink his blood will have no life within them. (6:54). In other words, Jesus responds to those who ask, "do you really mean actually eating your flesh," with "yes, I really mean actually eating my flesh."
Despite this passage, Protestants do not believe in transubstantiation. In other words, Protestants do not believe that they really have to eat His flesh. Now, I am have not studied what the different Protestant doctrines are regarding the last supper (there are over 33,000 of them after all), but I assume that they believe that the twelve Apostles actually partook of the actual body and blood of Jesus. Which only means they believe that when Jesus said "do this in remembrance of me" (Luke 22) he was really saying, "do something symbolic of this in remembrance of me."
Yes, even if those masters of literal Biblical interpretation wanted to believe that Jesus was mincing his words in the hours before his death, John 6 corrects their error unequivocally. After Jesus demands that they eat his flesh and drink his blood to gain eternal life, His followers, as us humans are prone to do, sought wiggle room in His demand. But, Jesus responded by walling off any room for wiggling. Jesus' response directly refutes any question about whether or not symbolism has a place at the communion alter.
Just as important, in John 6 Jesus gives us a glimpse into how hard it will be to follow Him. Each of us struggle to live our lives fully in Christ. When we face a decision and question what God would have us do, we often search to find that wiggle room, that justification for taking the easy route. At those times we should all remember those early disciples and ask am I going to follow those that walked away from Jesus (John 6:66) or am I going to be like Peter who asked, "to whom shall we go"?
"If you want to be happy, really really happy, use your talents to serve others." - Eduardo Verastegui
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Each time
Each time I struggle with my own inner demons,
Each time I fail to love as God has shown me to Love,
Each time I look at the world around me and grow more and more disenchanted,
Each time I sin,
Each time I fall prey to pride,
Each time I allow the same questions dogs my conscience,
Each time I put myself through the same torment,
Each time I want more than I have,
Each time I fall short of my own expectations,
Each time I seem less worthy,
Each time I stop praying,
Each time I feel like satan himself,
Each time I grow closer to allowing my own mind to build that wall around my heart,
Each time I doubt more and more my own place in Heaven,
Each time I realize I am a son of Adam,
Each time
Each time I am saved by the Son of God.
"If you want to be happy, really really happy, use your talents to serve others." - Eduardo Verastegui
Each time I fail to love as God has shown me to Love,
Each time I look at the world around me and grow more and more disenchanted,
Each time I sin,
Each time I fall prey to pride,
Each time I allow the same questions dogs my conscience,
Each time I put myself through the same torment,
Each time I want more than I have,
Each time I fall short of my own expectations,
Each time I seem less worthy,
Each time I stop praying,
Each time I feel like satan himself,
Each time I grow closer to allowing my own mind to build that wall around my heart,
Each time I doubt more and more my own place in Heaven,
Each time I realize I am a son of Adam,
Each time
Each time I am saved by the Son of God.
"If you want to be happy, really really happy, use your talents to serve others." - Eduardo Verastegui
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Lent
This Lent I am taking on more than my normal giving something up. I am still going to give up diet drinks in my annual quest to kick that habit. A few months ago I bought a Blackberry Torch and downloaded the iBreviary app. I have been dabling with praying the Hours since. In part thanks to that app, I have made strides in my prayer life these last few months. In addition to giving up diet soda, I intend to pray the morning and night prayers every day. This means waking up early every day . . . not fun.
The third thing I intend to do for Lent is to post (at least) weekly here. I'm not sure what I will say every week, but there are plent of incomlete posts for me to attempt to finally finish up. I trust that the Holy Spirit will guide me to say something that says something to someone.
I dont get much feedback on this site. Please leave a post on what you are doing this Lent to bring yourself closer to God. I will be sure to pray for you, that you will be faithful to you Lenten vowes. Please do the same for me.
"If you want to be happy, really really happy, use your talents to serve others." - Eduardo Verastegui
The third thing I intend to do for Lent is to post (at least) weekly here. I'm not sure what I will say every week, but there are plent of incomlete posts for me to attempt to finally finish up. I trust that the Holy Spirit will guide me to say something that says something to someone.
I dont get much feedback on this site. Please leave a post on what you are doing this Lent to bring yourself closer to God. I will be sure to pray for you, that you will be faithful to you Lenten vowes. Please do the same for me.
"If you want to be happy, really really happy, use your talents to serve others." - Eduardo Verastegui
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Luke 8:14
14 As for the seed that fell among thorns, they are the ones who have heard, but as they go along, they are choked by the anxieties and riches and pleasures of life, and they fail to produce mature fruit.
In reading the parable of the sower was thinking which of the descriptions best describe me and my journey up to this point. I would really like to think that I am the seed that falls on the rich soil. Yet, the more I think about it, the more I believe I am the seed described in verse 14. I attend Mass, listen to the Priest and have super intentions. I have devoted my life to service as I believe God wants and gives a great deal of my time to others. Yet, my prayer life is constantly falling to the daily time crunch. The joy that should explode from me as a result of the many undeserved blessing I enjoy is replaced with anger, fear and uncertainty.
The question becomes how do I change so that my seeds fall on the rich soil. I guess if I knew that I wouldn't fail to produce mature fruit. It is easy to say all the things that can be done, it is another to actually follow through with them. I guess I have until the start of Lent to figure out how to use that season to enrichen my soil. I am certain that prayer is the only tool with which to de-thorn my life. Thanks to my new smart phone I have new apps to wield that tool.
"If you want to be happy, really really happy, use your talents to serve others." - Eduardo Verastegui
14 As for the seed that fell among thorns, they are the ones who have heard, but as they go along, they are choked by the anxieties and riches and pleasures of life, and they fail to produce mature fruit.
In reading the parable of the sower was thinking which of the descriptions best describe me and my journey up to this point. I would really like to think that I am the seed that falls on the rich soil. Yet, the more I think about it, the more I believe I am the seed described in verse 14. I attend Mass, listen to the Priest and have super intentions. I have devoted my life to service as I believe God wants and gives a great deal of my time to others. Yet, my prayer life is constantly falling to the daily time crunch. The joy that should explode from me as a result of the many undeserved blessing I enjoy is replaced with anger, fear and uncertainty.
The question becomes how do I change so that my seeds fall on the rich soil. I guess if I knew that I wouldn't fail to produce mature fruit. It is easy to say all the things that can be done, it is another to actually follow through with them. I guess I have until the start of Lent to figure out how to use that season to enrichen my soil. I am certain that prayer is the only tool with which to de-thorn my life. Thanks to my new smart phone I have new apps to wield that tool.
"If you want to be happy, really really happy, use your talents to serve others." - Eduardo Verastegui
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Note to self
Luke 7:46 - "Why do you call me 'Lord, Lord,' but not do what command?"
I get upset with myself when my humanity raises its ugly head. Even while my actions are mostly other-centered, my thoughts and prayers are self-centered to an even greater degree. My mind, heart and soul are in a constant struggle between my need to emotionally and spiritually work through those burdens God has sought fit to bless me with in prayer and the guilt of not praying for others almost at all. This struggle plays itself out by me not praying.
As Luke's Gospel shows, should focus doing as God commands and simply focus on my relationship with Him and allow Him to guide my prayer where he knows I need it most. By focusing on what my prayer life is not, I am actually denying God's greatness and showing no faith that He will lead me where I need to go to better do as he commands.
"If you want to be happy, really really happy, use your talents to serve others." - Eduardo Verasteg
I get upset with myself when my humanity raises its ugly head. Even while my actions are mostly other-centered, my thoughts and prayers are self-centered to an even greater degree. My mind, heart and soul are in a constant struggle between my need to emotionally and spiritually work through those burdens God has sought fit to bless me with in prayer and the guilt of not praying for others almost at all. This struggle plays itself out by me not praying.
As Luke's Gospel shows, should focus doing as God commands and simply focus on my relationship with Him and allow Him to guide my prayer where he knows I need it most. By focusing on what my prayer life is not, I am actually denying God's greatness and showing no faith that He will lead me where I need to go to better do as he commands.
"If you want to be happy, really really happy, use your talents to serve others." - Eduardo Verasteg
Monday, January 10, 2011
Long time no post
My last post was on October 12, 2010. In the intervening 90 days, in addition to my normal and seemingly ever increasing professional responsibilities and domestic tasks, I have taken part in my first community play, enjoyed Thanksgiving with family and celebrated the birth of our Lord. I haven't had much time to meditate and formulate something that I would feel confident in sharing. Today I have some extra time on my hands since I am off of work due to winter weather (you have to be from the American south to understand this phenomenon).
Sadly, the last few days have been spent reading about the shooting of Representative Gabrielle Giffords yesterday in Arizona. In watching and reading the coverage of this tragedy I have been struck by the flurry of comments from some political commentators that this somehow resulted from the words of people on the other side of the political isle. They say this despite by there own admission that, at least as of this writing, there is not one scintilla of evidence to support such convictions.
This viewpoint got me thinking about how many atheist and other non-believers use a perceived lack of tangible proof of the existence of God as a foundation for their non-belief. I think a lot about how to respond to such non-believers. I am by nature a logical thinker and as an attorney I am trained to seek proof and question everything. So it seems natural to me that my need to continually seek God is satisfied, in part, by seeking proof that He exists.
It is currently widely agreed that the universe was created by a "big bang." While I won't delve into the hit-and-miss history of universally held scientific beliefs, I will for the sake of this post accept that the big bang theory is true. Scientific atheist (used as a general term for all who do not believe in the existence of God and do so based on a belief that there is a lack of empirical proof thereof) see the creation of the universe and of mankind as a random act. They base their entire belief system, and often their lives, on this one-in-trillions (or greater) chance that everything fell perfectly in place for the creation of life, the development of humanity and the perfectly supporting universe around us. Yet, I challenge anyone to find another area of science where such a random chance happening is given any credence. In my own profession, if a DNA test finds that it is 99.9% likely for a man to be the biological father of a child, science and the law deems him to be the legal father. In criminal court, DNA is used to tie and exclude suspects to crimes.
If human DNA can identify people in terms of one-in-billions and the make-up of homo sapiens is but an infinitesimal part of the whole of creation, it begs the question of how scientific atheists rationalize their views on creation. How can one accept that the universe as we know it was created by chance, but summarily dismiss that same chance when it comes to DNA (or any other scientific area). Is it not, at a minimum, equally as likely that a mother and father in Wisconsin and a couple in Germany could produce offspring with the exact genetic pattern as it is that the universe was created to perfectly support human life? How is it that the idea of two persons having the same DNA is so remote that it is dismissed by all but maybe the most fringe members of the scientific community, but chance on the much grander scale of creation is seen as perfectly acceptable?
The reasons scientific atheists disregard chance in all but creation vary as greatly as the number of persons who hold this belief. All we can do is pray for the soul of these persons and do out best to show them the Truth.
Sadly, the last few days have been spent reading about the shooting of Representative Gabrielle Giffords yesterday in Arizona. In watching and reading the coverage of this tragedy I have been struck by the flurry of comments from some political commentators that this somehow resulted from the words of people on the other side of the political isle. They say this despite by there own admission that, at least as of this writing, there is not one scintilla of evidence to support such convictions.
This viewpoint got me thinking about how many atheist and other non-believers use a perceived lack of tangible proof of the existence of God as a foundation for their non-belief. I think a lot about how to respond to such non-believers. I am by nature a logical thinker and as an attorney I am trained to seek proof and question everything. So it seems natural to me that my need to continually seek God is satisfied, in part, by seeking proof that He exists.
It is currently widely agreed that the universe was created by a "big bang." While I won't delve into the hit-and-miss history of universally held scientific beliefs, I will for the sake of this post accept that the big bang theory is true. Scientific atheist (used as a general term for all who do not believe in the existence of God and do so based on a belief that there is a lack of empirical proof thereof) see the creation of the universe and of mankind as a random act. They base their entire belief system, and often their lives, on this one-in-trillions (or greater) chance that everything fell perfectly in place for the creation of life, the development of humanity and the perfectly supporting universe around us. Yet, I challenge anyone to find another area of science where such a random chance happening is given any credence. In my own profession, if a DNA test finds that it is 99.9% likely for a man to be the biological father of a child, science and the law deems him to be the legal father. In criminal court, DNA is used to tie and exclude suspects to crimes.
If human DNA can identify people in terms of one-in-billions and the make-up of homo sapiens is but an infinitesimal part of the whole of creation, it begs the question of how scientific atheists rationalize their views on creation. How can one accept that the universe as we know it was created by chance, but summarily dismiss that same chance when it comes to DNA (or any other scientific area). Is it not, at a minimum, equally as likely that a mother and father in Wisconsin and a couple in Germany could produce offspring with the exact genetic pattern as it is that the universe was created to perfectly support human life? How is it that the idea of two persons having the same DNA is so remote that it is dismissed by all but maybe the most fringe members of the scientific community, but chance on the much grander scale of creation is seen as perfectly acceptable?
The reasons scientific atheists disregard chance in all but creation vary as greatly as the number of persons who hold this belief. All we can do is pray for the soul of these persons and do out best to show them the Truth.
"If you want to be happy, really really happy, use your talents to serve others." - Eduardo Verastegui
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