In the past few months I have been reading the Douay Rhemis version of the Bible. The US Bishops dictate that New American Bible (NAB) is used during Mass, but the more I study the scriptures, the more I find that version wanting. For several years now I have had an app for my phone with different translations of the Bible. In sticking with the Bishops I have always read the NAB. The Douay Rhemis is a difficult read as it is written in a style of English that is not used today. Whereas, the NAB is written for a broad audience.
It is this difficulty that has made my reading of the scripture come alive. Because it is more difficult to understand, I have to think about what I am reading. When I read a verse in the Douay Rhems, I have to restate it in my mind in a way that I can understand -- into my own words. In doing this I process the verse and take into myself. With the NAB, which is more plainly written, I find myself more prone to not take the words into myself and they just slip through my consciecness.
Somewhere along the line of the different translations the numbering of the Psalms got mixed up. I don't know why or when it happened, or any other details about it, I just know that the numbering is different depending on what translation you a reading. In the middle of this Psalm, it says, "Who is the man that desireth life: who loveth to see good days?" Psalm 33:13. (See what I mean about the language of the Douay Rhems?) The NAB translate that to, "Who among you loves life, takes delight in prosperous days?" Psalm 34:13.
What does that mean, to "love life," or more applicably, how does the person that "loves life" live? A modern person might say it means to go out and do those things that you like. Another might say it means to do things that make you feel alive. Some might say it means to enjoy family and friends. It is easy to see where a self-centered mind set can take this verse and profess it to be Biblical approval for doing whatever the individual wants. The modern approach to perfection is seen in outward, physical beauty. This may be in owning the best car, the newest smartphone, the biggest house, the fanciest furnishing, the right look.
For those of us who seek something more than the endless and hopeless task of fulfilling our every concupiscent desire, the answer to that question is much more complex. It is this search that informs the very basis of our, or at least my, Christian life. How do I manifest my desire for eternal life? What do I view as a "good day"? More importantly, how do I keep my perspective being that today being is good/prosperous day even when things are bad? The only answer I have is PRAYER. It is through prayer that I have found the ability to have the joy that is knowing God love you and will provide for you. It is this joy which keeps me balanced. It is this joy that keeps me striving to empty myself and allow God to fill me. The harder I work at emptying my will, the more he fills me up.
"If you want to be happy, really really happy, use your talents to serve others." - Eduardo Verastegui
The ramblings of a man who fell away from the practice of his Catholic faith, only to return upon the realization that he could no longer call himself Catholic without being fully in union with the Magisterium of the Catholic Chirch. This is about growing up Catholic and growing as a Catholic.
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Monday, June 23, 2014
So much for that
We had the good fortune of have Father Longenecker speak at our Parish a while back. His talk has inspired my series of posts (so far there has been only two, so I guess that makes a series?) about my faith journey. One of the pieces of advice he gave me about blogging is to post something every day. Well, reality is that with my job and marital responsibilities I just can't do that. However, I am taking a week's vacation this week and I wanted to post something all nine days. It only took until day two for me to fail. Yay me!
I did make a pretty awesome discovery about myself yesterday. One of the ways I have grown in my faith is my appreciation for the Eucharist, which is a really unsuitable way of saying what I mean. Yesterday at Mass, my tummy was feeling upset. Normally I would have ducked out of the pew and went straight home. But yesterday, I found myself fighting that urge because I wanted and needed to stay to receive the Eucharist. It was something that I am growing ever more in love with and have a longing for every day.
Hmmm, that gives me an idea, maybe I will try daily mass a few times this week and see what that brings.
"If you want to be happy, really really happy, use your talents to serve others." - Eduardo Verastegui
I did make a pretty awesome discovery about myself yesterday. One of the ways I have grown in my faith is my appreciation for the Eucharist, which is a really unsuitable way of saying what I mean. Yesterday at Mass, my tummy was feeling upset. Normally I would have ducked out of the pew and went straight home. But yesterday, I found myself fighting that urge because I wanted and needed to stay to receive the Eucharist. It was something that I am growing ever more in love with and have a longing for every day.
Hmmm, that gives me an idea, maybe I will try daily mass a few times this week and see what that brings.
"If you want to be happy, really really happy, use your talents to serve others." - Eduardo Verastegui
Saturday, June 21, 2014
Uncharted territory
My parents instilled in my a very strong work ethic. (I think we should create a new word called worthic which means "worth ethic." I am going to google that word in a few days and see if this post comes up.) Anyway, I am taking a week-long vacation for the first time in a long time. My goal is to post something, even it is something small, every day. I want to see what I can come up with when I don't have the pressures of my "real job" on a daily basis.
I started reading Father Longenecker's book More Christianity.* In this book, Father Longenecker sets out to explain the Catholic faith in its fullness to an Evangelical Protestant. I hope it inspires me to start to forulate a presentation I have in my head that I want to give at my local parish for non-Catholics in the community setting out why we believe what we believe. In a world where I get what I want, I would have Father Longeneck's book read and most of that presentation completed by the end of my vacation. We will see how that goes . . .
*that is another goal of my vacation week is to read at least that book.
One thing I think about a lot when it comes to our Protestant brothers and sisters is how they get to the believes they do. One large sticking point is of course the real presence of Jesus in the Eucharist. One of the ways I have devised to discuss this issue with a Protestant who would be willing to have an open conversation about it (something that is hard do to because: 1) religion is an emotional hot button issue for many; and 2) no one wants to admit they are wrong -- me or anyone.) But my question is intended more for them to think than attempting to force them to any admission of a shortcoming.
Here are the following preconditions necessary for the question, but all are sure to be readily admitted to and full-heartily believed by every self-professed Christian:
1) Jesus died for our sins on the cross;
2) Jesus rose from the dead; and
3) at the very end of Matthew's Gospel, Jesus says He will be with us always.
With those givens in place, here is the question:
If Jesus is alive and will be with us always, where is the alive body of Christ in your Church?
I would expect some precarious verbal gymnastics and dancing around the issue. And that's fine. But the question isn't intended to put them on the spot and demands an immediate answer. The question is hopeful to make them think and question the foundations of their denomination (it just hit me, does that word not sound an awful lot like demon? -- makes me wonder even more if the division of Jesus' people was not wrought by Luther, a lot like Lucifer . . . ?)
"If you want to be happy, really really happy, use your talents to serve others." - Eduardo Verastegui
I started reading Father Longenecker's book More Christianity.* In this book, Father Longenecker sets out to explain the Catholic faith in its fullness to an Evangelical Protestant. I hope it inspires me to start to forulate a presentation I have in my head that I want to give at my local parish for non-Catholics in the community setting out why we believe what we believe. In a world where I get what I want, I would have Father Longeneck's book read and most of that presentation completed by the end of my vacation. We will see how that goes . . .
*that is another goal of my vacation week is to read at least that book.
One thing I think about a lot when it comes to our Protestant brothers and sisters is how they get to the believes they do. One large sticking point is of course the real presence of Jesus in the Eucharist. One of the ways I have devised to discuss this issue with a Protestant who would be willing to have an open conversation about it (something that is hard do to because: 1) religion is an emotional hot button issue for many; and 2) no one wants to admit they are wrong -- me or anyone.) But my question is intended more for them to think than attempting to force them to any admission of a shortcoming.
Here are the following preconditions necessary for the question, but all are sure to be readily admitted to and full-heartily believed by every self-professed Christian:
1) Jesus died for our sins on the cross;
2) Jesus rose from the dead; and
3) at the very end of Matthew's Gospel, Jesus says He will be with us always.
With those givens in place, here is the question:
If Jesus is alive and will be with us always, where is the alive body of Christ in your Church?
I would expect some precarious verbal gymnastics and dancing around the issue. And that's fine. But the question isn't intended to put them on the spot and demands an immediate answer. The question is hopeful to make them think and question the foundations of their denomination (it just hit me, does that word not sound an awful lot like demon? -- makes me wonder even more if the division of Jesus' people was not wrought by Luther, a lot like Lucifer . . . ?)
"If you want to be happy, really really happy, use your talents to serve others." - Eduardo Verastegui
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Jesus gets into my boat
I just finished watching Father Robert Barron's Catholicism Series. I had watched all of the episodes except the DVD which had episodes 7 and 8. Episode 8 is about the Communion of Saints. Father Barron talks about how the lives of the saints are started by Grace entering into their lives uninvited. Father Barron calls the viewer's attention to Luke chapter 5 where Jesus gets into Peter's boat uninvited and starts giving orders. Jesus tells Peter to go out into the deep waters set out his nets. To this Peter replies that they have been fishing all night and have caught nothing. Wisely, Peter does as Jesus says and hauls in more fish than the boat could hold. It is this intersession of God's grace that Father Barron says the indivdual must conform his/her life to and cooperate with.
I strive to be a saint. It is my desire to die to myself and live the life of God. Each day I ask God to bend my will towards his and to let me do what glorifies Him. Reflecting back on the where this desire first started taking hold, I have to look to the spring and summer of 2007. I married my wife in January 2007. If you have read any of the past posts on this cite you may know that my wife is an atheist/agnostic. The decision to stay in a relationship with her was one that I entered into only after great reflection and prayer. At that time, in my professional life, I had just started to get my law firm off of the ground. We finally started to make money. However, as God is known to do, he starts my path toward His will with difficulty and trials. My wife had received Social Security benefits through her father -- she was disabled as a child and had never worked enough on her own to become eligible. So when we married, that monthly check and equally as importantly her medicaid ended.
It was at this time that it was all on my shoulders. We lived in a very nice apartment, had just purchased her a new car that was accessible for her to drive and had a nice foundation for a materially comfortable life. It was in this moment that God interceeded and interjected His plan into my life -- and I didn't have a clue. With the loss of income we had to move to a cheaper place to live, one that was closer to my work. So, we moved to the same town where my law practice was into a much less comfortable apartment -- the complex had to remove a toilet it one of the bathrooms so that Tamara could get into the bathtub. Mind you, it was no slum, but certainly less than where we had been.
Tam was miserable. We never unpacked most of our belongings. Our living room was filled with boxes. Tamara didn't get out of bed for almost the whole 6-months we lived there. It was during this time that she got the idea of moving to El Dorado. She had a house that her mother had deeded to her that was sitting empty. Honestly, I was miserable in my work and things were not looking good. At that time we set out on the path of driving the 3 hours to El Dorado every weekend to clean out the house and the storage units her mother had stuff in. When I say stuff, let me tell you, there was a lot of stuff. During that time I started applying for jobs with the state because I knew it had good insurance with no per-existing exclusions for Tamara's disability. I also knew that paying for her medications and supplies every month out of pocket was a financial drain and any sort of major problem would be a catastrophy for us and my law practice.
Working as the Lord does when he wants you to do something, everything fell into place. I found a job working for the state in child welfare. A friend who lived in the town where I was in practice wanted to come back and was able to step-in and take over my cases. We got a loan for the house that Tam's mother had given her and fixed it up to be more accessable than it already was -- no toilets to remove here!
During my time after law school I had fallen away from the Church. I still considered myself "catholic," but had no idea what that really meant. Even after moving to El Dorado (pronounced like "tornado") I didn't attend Mass. Oh, I would go with my dad whenever he was down to help us with the house, but that was all. Oddly enough though, it was my atheist/agnostic wife that pushed me back to the Church. It was in her challenges to my poorly catechized religious foundation that caused me to seek out what it really meant to be Catholic. It is in this journey that I have grown to become aware of God's call in my life, or more actually, to seek out awareness of God's call in my life.
It is in these challenges that I have responded to with a giving of myself to and for her. It is in these challenges that I have giving myself to and for the children of the counties I serve. It is in these challenges that I have found true happiness. That I have found that the only thing that will fill my soul is what Father Barron calls the divine chemistry, or something like that. It is only in giving of myself that I am truly fulfilled. It is this emptying of myself for my wife and for those less fortunate that I am closer to God. It is in this that I have found true happiness, happiness unlike anything that I could have ever imagined possible. It is in this that I have found proof of God's existence. And it all started when Jesus stepped into my boat and ordered me into the deep. It is only possible because of God's Grace and my cooperation with it.
"If you want to be happy, really really happy, use your talents to serve others." - Eduardo Verastegui
I strive to be a saint. It is my desire to die to myself and live the life of God. Each day I ask God to bend my will towards his and to let me do what glorifies Him. Reflecting back on the where this desire first started taking hold, I have to look to the spring and summer of 2007. I married my wife in January 2007. If you have read any of the past posts on this cite you may know that my wife is an atheist/agnostic. The decision to stay in a relationship with her was one that I entered into only after great reflection and prayer. At that time, in my professional life, I had just started to get my law firm off of the ground. We finally started to make money. However, as God is known to do, he starts my path toward His will with difficulty and trials. My wife had received Social Security benefits through her father -- she was disabled as a child and had never worked enough on her own to become eligible. So when we married, that monthly check and equally as importantly her medicaid ended.
It was at this time that it was all on my shoulders. We lived in a very nice apartment, had just purchased her a new car that was accessible for her to drive and had a nice foundation for a materially comfortable life. It was in this moment that God interceeded and interjected His plan into my life -- and I didn't have a clue. With the loss of income we had to move to a cheaper place to live, one that was closer to my work. So, we moved to the same town where my law practice was into a much less comfortable apartment -- the complex had to remove a toilet it one of the bathrooms so that Tamara could get into the bathtub. Mind you, it was no slum, but certainly less than where we had been.
Tam was miserable. We never unpacked most of our belongings. Our living room was filled with boxes. Tamara didn't get out of bed for almost the whole 6-months we lived there. It was during this time that she got the idea of moving to El Dorado. She had a house that her mother had deeded to her that was sitting empty. Honestly, I was miserable in my work and things were not looking good. At that time we set out on the path of driving the 3 hours to El Dorado every weekend to clean out the house and the storage units her mother had stuff in. When I say stuff, let me tell you, there was a lot of stuff. During that time I started applying for jobs with the state because I knew it had good insurance with no per-existing exclusions for Tamara's disability. I also knew that paying for her medications and supplies every month out of pocket was a financial drain and any sort of major problem would be a catastrophy for us and my law practice.
Working as the Lord does when he wants you to do something, everything fell into place. I found a job working for the state in child welfare. A friend who lived in the town where I was in practice wanted to come back and was able to step-in and take over my cases. We got a loan for the house that Tam's mother had given her and fixed it up to be more accessable than it already was -- no toilets to remove here!
During my time after law school I had fallen away from the Church. I still considered myself "catholic," but had no idea what that really meant. Even after moving to El Dorado (pronounced like "tornado") I didn't attend Mass. Oh, I would go with my dad whenever he was down to help us with the house, but that was all. Oddly enough though, it was my atheist/agnostic wife that pushed me back to the Church. It was in her challenges to my poorly catechized religious foundation that caused me to seek out what it really meant to be Catholic. It is in this journey that I have grown to become aware of God's call in my life, or more actually, to seek out awareness of God's call in my life.
It is in these challenges that I have responded to with a giving of myself to and for her. It is in these challenges that I have giving myself to and for the children of the counties I serve. It is in these challenges that I have found true happiness. That I have found that the only thing that will fill my soul is what Father Barron calls the divine chemistry, or something like that. It is only in giving of myself that I am truly fulfilled. It is this emptying of myself for my wife and for those less fortunate that I am closer to God. It is in this that I have found true happiness, happiness unlike anything that I could have ever imagined possible. It is in this that I have found proof of God's existence. And it all started when Jesus stepped into my boat and ordered me into the deep. It is only possible because of God's Grace and my cooperation with it.
"If you want to be happy, really really happy, use your talents to serve others." - Eduardo Verastegui
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Hello, hello again
It has been some time since I have been able to post. I have a few bigger posts on my brain. It seems odd that a few things have all sort of collided together for me this week. I listen to Father Robert Barron's podcast on the Sunday weekly readings. I listen to a podcast by 3 now priests but started as seminarians called Catholic Stuff You Should Know. They haven't put out a new episode in a while, so I am re-listening to old episodes. I am also reading a blog called "Those Catholic Men." (One of the priests is a contributer for that blog.) All three co-ensided with one topic, that being a Christian, the reality of being a Christian is about relationships. This has really hit me.
I have a lot to think about on this, but my initial thoughts are this . . . it makes sense. Of course!!! If we as humans are made in the image and likeness of God, the question becomes what image is that? I think you have to accept 2 points: 1) God is Love; and 2) the fact of the Trinitarian God. If those two things are true, our increasingly inward looking, self-centered society has gone further and further away from the Christianity that converted the Roman Empire.
These are truths that my life experienced has cemented as true. It took the convergence of those three voices to people like me for it to crystallize in my mind's eye. It was an a-ha moment that has radically changed my outlook, but somehow has always informed. it. I can't explain it, other than to say it is old and new at the same time. Something I just learned and have always known. Something I don't completely understand, but can't wait to contemplate and apply to my life.
"If you want to be happy, really really happy, use your talents to serve others." - Eduardo Verastegui
I have a lot to think about on this, but my initial thoughts are this . . . it makes sense. Of course!!! If we as humans are made in the image and likeness of God, the question becomes what image is that? I think you have to accept 2 points: 1) God is Love; and 2) the fact of the Trinitarian God. If those two things are true, our increasingly inward looking, self-centered society has gone further and further away from the Christianity that converted the Roman Empire.
These are truths that my life experienced has cemented as true. It took the convergence of those three voices to people like me for it to crystallize in my mind's eye. It was an a-ha moment that has radically changed my outlook, but somehow has always informed. it. I can't explain it, other than to say it is old and new at the same time. Something I just learned and have always known. Something I don't completely understand, but can't wait to contemplate and apply to my life.
"If you want to be happy, really really happy, use your talents to serve others." - Eduardo Verastegui
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