Seems like only about 30% of the blogs I start get posted because I actually get them finished. Lets hope this one is one of that minority.
The past few days have been such that really make me ponder if it might actually be better to walk away and start a new life that is as selfish as humanly possible. I know that such thoughts are sinful and that I my the proper response should be too pray more and worry less. Like many, I struggle with being grace-filled when times get tough. As a kid I had a smart mouth and I usually let it go whenever challenged.
Real or adult world relationships, both personal and professional, require me to put a governor, if you will, on my mouth What I am finding more and more is that my personal relationship with Jesus demands that I put a check not only on my mouth, but on my thoughts. As I am growing in my faith, I am growing in the appreciation that to Love my neighbor requires me to dial back my pride and my anger and grow in humility and meekness.
This of course, the concern is that I become too humble and too meek. I realize that from a purely religious point of view that is probably not possible. However, there is a point that humility and meekness stop being virtues and start becoming a negative impact on the life God intends. There comes a time when you can no longer allow people to walk over you or threaten your well being and must stand up. It is striking that balance that I struggle with most. The desire for preservation of my job, marriage and bonds of friendship and family pretty well prevent me from going to far on the mouthy side. It is only through prayer and reflection and meditation that I can find the balance and peace with that balance that God wishes me to have.
If you too struggle with this balance, please share ways that you have learned to better find it. May God bless you in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost. Amen
"If you want to be happy, really really happy, use your talents to serve others." - Eduardo Verastegui
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