More on prayer

In trying to post more articles, I have found myself typing thoughts that are more incomplete than normal. I feel my last post was rushed and didn't fully state my complete thoughts on prayer and where my prayer has evolved/grown.

First, I want to share this link.  It is a very good article on prayer and praying as a community.

I ended last time with talking about how I often simply pray for God to do his will in my life.  It is my fervent desire to lose myself and do the Lord's will.  I am always praying for that, then turning right around and allowing (or purposefully placing -- as the case may be) myself in the way of that very thing.  In the past few years I have been blessed to give more and more of myself to my wife and my job.  Each time I feel like I am simply too exhausted and have nothing more to give, I ask God to show me how to give more.  In turn, when I am shown how to do that, I fight it tooth and nail.  I fight it out of fear, pride and impatience.

Fear of the unknown.  Fear of failure.  Fear of not knowing what should be done.  All those fears are sins. Those fears arise because of a lack of faith.  Those fears are the same fear that Peter felt when Jesus had him get out of the boat and walk on the water to Jesus.  When Peter would not keep his eyes on Christ, he sank.  The fear is that I will sink, when I know all I have to do is keep my eyes on Christ.

Pride.  Wow, what a word.  I could talk about pride for days and not even get close to scratching the surface.  I am not sure who, but I know someone once said that pride is the root of all sin (or something similar).  I think that is so brilliant in it simplicity and it truth.  Every sin I do or fail to do is essentially because I am choosing myself over God.  It is this choosing myself that makes it difficult to give up oneself, sort of a instinct reaction left over from original sin, maybe.  I don't know.  Either way, my constant want to please myself -- even though I know in my head that in the long run God's will is the better option -- gets in the way.  Sort of like the fleshly desire for instant gratification is to the self mastery learned through abstinence and fasting.

Finally impatience.  I think this might be an American specialty.  We live in a throw-away, microwave, fast food society.  What we see and are conditioned to expect is instant results, instant opinions and instant news.  I am just as guilty as anyone.  I get impatient when my computer takes longer than I expect to boot up.  I get upset when I have to wait at a stop light.  I mumble under my breath when someone is not going fast enough at the grocery store in line in front of me. 

I need to learn to pray for other besides myself.  But when I pray for myself, I need to pray for the grace to over come my price, fear and impatience.  I need to trust in the Lord that he will hear my cry and pour out his blessings for me when I conform myself to his will.

Hmm, like writing about prayer. Maybe I should go pray for how to better write about prayer . . . oh wait, not so much about me  . . . I forget . . .

"If you want to be happy, really really happy, use your talents to serve others." - Eduardo Verastegui