A long time coming

It has been a really long time since my last post.  There are several things I want to talk about.  First, it's Friday (throw your neighborhood in the air) and I am feeling as relieved as I have in a long long time.  These last few weeks have been stressful.  This past week I have been stressful to the point of almost being physically ill. I haven't had an assistant and carrying a full case load for two months now.  I was scheduled to be in court four days this week and on Monday.  I thought I was never going to make it. Luckily for me, not so much for her, but the judge in my court on Thursday got sick and I got to spend the whole day in the office.  That was just what the doctor ordered.  I just hope that the judge is feeling better.  My new assistant is starting Monday.  I doubt she will be as good as my last assistant, she does have tough act to follow.  I am just glad that I have someone competent to help.

I posted "Some days this job just isn't worth it" on Twitter the other day.  This was one of the worst parts of my week.  As soon as I posted it I began to think about what I had said.  I work in the field of child welfare through the grace of God -- it certainly wasn't something I looked at from the outside and thought would be something I would like.  If I were making decisions on what kind of law to practice and where to practice based upon my will, I certainly would not have chosen juvenile law in South Arkansas.  But I made a decision over three years ago to give up that part of my life to God and follow His Will.  His Will has me a lot broker.  His Will exposes me to the worst possible things people could do to their kids.  His Will has me often time depressed over their sufferings. 

However, His Will fills my heart with joy.  His Will gives me the Grace to endure.  His Will is that I take up this cross and use it for His glory.  His Will is that I grow closer to him by praying for their sufferings.  His Will is that I be still.  His Will is what makes my job amazingly enjoyable (most days anyway).

I use the talents God has blessed me with to help the abused children of Arkansas out of Love. That statement was made out of selfishness.  Granted, these past few weeks have been very difficult.  But for me to say that God's Will for my life is not worth it is as blasphemous as any statement I could make.  I am well overdue for confession, that statement makes going this weekend even more of a must. 

I friend of mine from high school posted something on Facebook last night struck me and I have been thinking about all day.  She posted that her uncle said something that she has been meditating on, "All that God blesses you with is not for you."  That honestly stopped me in my tracks.  Suddenly all my problems seemed so small.  I instantly regained focus on living my life according to His Will.  All the selfishness and self-pity in my heart was swept away and ten-fold of joy took its place.  In an instant I re-identified with the fact that my life is not about me, but about living a life that glorifies God.


Thank you for taking the time to read my ramblings.  I pray that God will bless you.  In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.


"If you want to be happy, really really happy, use your talents to serve others." - Eduardo Verastegui