Doing things differently

I have been pretty down in the dumps the past week or so.  I have prayed and contemplated the causes of this feeling and have it boiled down to two things:  1) a lack of a prayer life; and 2) unhealthy meal choices.  I also think those two are somewhat interrelated.  I overeat often times out of boredom.  Its really not so much out of boredom as it is out of needing to fill something in me, well, that and food is good.  I made the mistake weekend before last of getting vanilla ice cream and chocolate syrup at the store.  Only my fear of my wife's comments has kept me from eating some on a nightly basis.  Anyway, back to the point, I know in my heart that that hole I am trying to fill with food can only truly be filled by a more complete relationship with God.  And (all together now) the only way to have a more complete relationship with God is through??? Prayer!!

The figuring out the problem was the easy part.  (Honestly, I have known these are the problems for most of my adult life.)  The part that is obviously difficult-to-impossible for me to figure out is how to solve these problems.  As for the eating, I have been doing better the last year or so on portion sizes.  This has helped, but hasn't stopped the snacking between meals.  The snacking that I know will only make me feel worse, but that feels so good for the short period of time the food is in my mouth.  It is in that moment that I need to find a way to find the grace and strength to overcome my mortal weakness.  That is something I hope to find through prayer.

In the past when in a funk like this I would have no problem with running to God, begging for his grace and promising to continue praying after he grants relief.  I think we all know how this story goes, God grants me his grace to overcome my difficulties and I continue with the prayers for a while.  But soon, I allow pride, life and the world to get in the way and the prayer falls to the wayside.  This time has to be different.  This time I have to find a way to make a better path. 

The good news is that I have made a new exercise plan that includes prayer.  I had been trying to run, but my body is telling me that it is just too much to continue at this weight.  I am being careful not to pray for a quick fix and make promises.  I am praying for the wisdom and grace to be able to offer my suffering for God's glory.  In fact, my prayer this time around will be two fold: 1) to be able to find a way to glorify God in everything I do; and 2) as perfectly state by Greg on The Catholics Next Door this morning, to feel God's love comforting me.  Sounds like a good start on a different path.