Reflection and confession

While working on my autoblogography, it is a work-in-progress, I was reflecting on how I haven't posted on here as much as I would like.  This stems from many things (that is for another post in and of itself) but is something I plan on being more vigilant about in the future.  Anyway, that led me to going back and reading my posts prior to deciding to focus this blog on being Catholic and growing as a Catholic.  I am very thankful for the inspiration from the Holy Spirit to have made the change.  Politics is certainly not my cup of tea(-party). :) 

I am excited and hesitant about going to confession today.  About a month ago I was listening to St. Francis de Sales book "An Introduction to the Devout Life" on my iPod and was struck with his discussion of a general confession (I am going to dedicate an entire post on this in the (hopefully) near future).  Actually, I was initially struck by his discussion of the affections of sin, but again, that is off topic.  Anyway, as I prepared for my general confession I got wrapped up in the great deal of my many sins and and the line blurred between what I had done in the past and what I had done since my last confession. This led to a great amount of fear about my need to go to "regular" confession after over-sleeping Mass one Sunday (and other sins that we needn't get into here). 

Basically, during my reflection for my general confession I came to realize a whole lot of sins that I had never contemplated as being sins before were actually sins and I had never confessed them.  Thus, I came to fear that I couldn't give a proper "regular" confession without including all of those past sins I had never contemplated, and I was nowhere near ready for my general confession.  So, I went to talk to my priest this week about this problem.  As a great man of God, he gave me sage advice and instructed me that I could confess the sins since my last confession and deal  with those sins from the past in the general confession.  As he correctly pointed out, those past sins weren't mortal sins, since I didn't know they were sins at the time. "Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matter and which is also committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent." (Catechism Paragraph 1857.)

I am excited about receiving the Grace of God through the Sacrament of Confession.  I greatly anticipate the burdens of my sin being lifted from my soul and being brought closer to union with God.  After all that, I don't know why I would be hesitant.  After all, the knowledge that I will be forgiven of my sins and will, barring any mortal since in the mean time, get to reunite my soul with the physical presence of Christ in the Eucharist can only be a cause for joy and should wipe away all fear.  Amen.