Eighteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time

"Think of what is above, not of what is on earth."  Colossians 3:2.  In reading the Scripture passages for today this one passage struck me as particularly applicable to my struggles.  As an attorney for the state I make a good living, but of course nowhere near the income I could make in private practice.  But I find myself often pondering what I don't have.  I find myself not necessarily wishing for for more wealth but rather daydreaming about what I could do if I more income or if this debt or that debt was paid off.

These desires are not necessarily always selfish - although they often are.  I often think of how I could better use this "extra" or "freed-up" money to benefit needy causes or to make life better for my wife.  But even that is thinking of "what is on earth."  My worrying and wishing is no different than what is describe in the first reading.  By wishing my money can go to other things or that my work produced more money is "vanity of vanities," i.e., supremely futile. Ecclesiastes 1:2.  As Ecclesiastes goes on to say (2:23), the time I spend on these worries is vanity.

My thoughts should be focused on the gifts, blessings and graces I have been given - certainly I am blessed beyond my what I could ever hope to deserve.  After all, in a time of 10% unemployment, that I have been blessed with a job, much less a very good job, and a home that is more than suitable for myself and my wife is more than I could ever hope to deserve.  But maybe it is a coping mechanism.  I do have a very difficult and stressful job. (I appreciate that many have stress in their job but working with abused children and adults has its own brand of stresses.)  Maybe allowing my thoughts to go astray has more to do with coping with stress than actual covetousness.  But even if that were true, would it not be better to use prayers of praise and thanksgiving to God for the many other blessings in my life?  At least then, wouldn't I have some labor to show from my coping and rather than being vanity of vanities.  Such prayer and reflection would open my mind and heart to a greater relationship with God.

I guess it is true that prayer is always the answer.  The sooner I get this through my head and know that turning to God with all things, good and bad, is what He expects and wants, the sooner I will be able to store up the treasures of what matters to God. (Luke 12:21).  Amen.  May God bless you in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost.