I have struggled with hope for some time and the last few weeks has been as bad as ever. How can I share my faith and show the beauty of God grace if I suffer from an acute lack of joy and hope? How do I convince anyone that Catholicism is worthwhile if I am always fearful and pessimistic?
My, have I received many blessings since then. I am startled by how self-centered those sentences are. Even in expressing a desire to spread the good news of Christ, it was “my faith” and “my struggle.”
I was not able to look outside myself for answers or accept that those struggles were a blessing. Even as I type this I can feel the great deceiver trying to pull my mind into sinful thoughts; I must be onto something.
I remember those days as very dark times. Thankfully, through medication, counseling and prayer I am no longer in that dark place.
The Holy Ghost has opened my eyes to the things that were holding me back, in my earthly life and my spiritual life. It was that burden, the the burden the great deceiver placed on me as a child when I was powerless to stop him or know better, that prayer is lifting off of me.
With the intersession of the Immaculate Conception and my guardian angel, I have come to internalize that the shame and fear I have lived with since I was a teen is not apart of God’s will for me. I can now truly exclaim that His burden is easy and His yoke is light.
I want to share this glorious news with the world. I want each and every person to join me in placing our shame and our fears at the foot of the cross, with the faith that Christ’s death and resurrection has destroyed them. We will sing together a hymn of praise: Holy, Holy, Holy Lord God of power and might. Heaven and earth are full of your glory, Hosana in the highest.
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